Chris and ABilly They met when Chris called a hotline number for the Gay Married Men's Association, a support group that ABilly helped found for gay men who are married to women. Through continued involvement with "GAMMA," the two became a couple. Now together for 34 years, they both contribute having been married to women as a strong point of their relationship. "I think, the fact that we both had come from a heterosexual marriage that we had learned some things from, some good, some bad" says ABilly, “has helped us gain some insight on having a successful relationship.” Chris adds, "I think that we both very much loved our wives, and we continue to love them as people, you know, and I think that was one of the things that attracted us to one another, that we had had that experience, and that we wanted to maintain a relationship, not a married relationship but a good relationship with our ex’s. And we both wanted children.” Chris and ABilly are the true definition of "modern family." ABilly explains, "Our relationship is by no means traditional. It’s not traditional in the sense that a lesbian or gay or bisexual or transgender couple would think of us. And is not traditional in how a heterosexual couple would think of a couple being together for 30 years. We’ve been able to mold our relationship in a way that makes sense for us." Beyond being gay men in a heterosexual marriage, they are from different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. ABilly is Caribbean American and Chris's parents are French. Both of the men now have children. ABilly came into the relationship with three children, two adopted children and one biological child from the marriage to his wife. Chris has no children from his heterosexual marriage but is the biological parent of two children that he fathered with a lesbian couple during his years with ABilly. They have contact with all five children and their mothers. Chris and ABilly spend almost as much time apart as they do together. Chris lives part of the year in Mexico, taking care of his parents and working on a bed and breakfast that he hopes to run with ABilly. Their apartment in Washington, DC is full of international treasures and classic literature. Says ABilly, "We both traveled a lot in the early part of our relationship and we’ve been able to figure out how to do that, how to maintain that relationship whether we were spending an extended amount of time overseas, or in another state." Chris notes, "There are periods where we are intensely together, and there are periods where we have been intensely apart, but we have always been there for one another. According to ABilly, "We still managed to hold on to each other. The thing about Chris is that there were moments and periods when I would try to back away from the relationship and he was not into letting go. And that became the glue. The thing I cherish most about him and trust in him is the fact that I know that he’s in the relationship because he really wants to be in the relationship. I mean I think gays can set the model, an example for heterosexual couples, in many ways because we have had to be creative and have figured out the glue to keep us together. But at the same time we are missing those basic rights that heterosexuals just take for granted. Rights like, inheritance. Rights like being able to file joint federal taxes together, joint state taxes together, rights that I think heterosexuals just don’t think about, they just take it for granted. It’s a big privilege for them that we don’t have." He further adds, "We’ve been tested in a number of ways, as a couple. You know when heterosexuals get married and they say 'Till death do us part, in sickness and in health' and whatever else they say, we have sort of been through that." Although they are legally registered as Domestic Partners in Washington, DC, they are not married. ABilly, who enjoys the pomp and circumstance of a ceremony, has proposed several times. But as far as matrimony goes, Chris has said "No. I’ve said no for a lot of reasons. I do feel that gay relationships and a gay partnership has been a major struggle for both of us but I don’t particularly want to try to replicate what a heterosexual relationship is because I do feel that this gay relationship is one hundred, one thousand, maybe even a million times more challenging, but in another way more inspiring than most heterosexual marriages that I have seen." Chris and ABilly are a perfect example of two people, different as night and day, who can come together and forge a bond and create a mold that works for them and stay in a relationship for 30 plus years and beyond.